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We Want to Be Black, Just Not "Black"
Women, African Americans, LGBT community, constantly being discriminated against, yet we haven't dealt with our own internal predjudices and self-hatred. We cry out for rights, but turn on each other.
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Since I have been on this earth, I haven't seen another race as color struck as our own. We've heard of the "paper bag test". You know, the test where a paper bag is held next to your skin and if the paper bag is lighter than you, then you're too dark.
My best friend, who is dark in skin color has a problem dating people as dark as her. She has two son's where one has dark skin just like her, but her youngest son who is half Italian is light with "good" hair, (whatever "good hair" is supposed to be) and her family just loves to look at him. Even my g/f, who is extremely light skinned with very long hair is a bit color struck, though she would deny it. But when describing someone from her past or even herself, she makes sure to mention that the person was beautiful or attractive because they had "that hair" with light skin or green colored eyes, which is implying that the closer to being white you are, the better our lives will be and the more attractive you are.
Me? I love every shade. I have seen some of the finest, most attractive dark skinned people you ever need to see. Cold black hair, thick thighs, dark eyes, and big succulent lips that feel so good when you kiss them. I have fallen hard for caramel skin, medium skin, nappy hair, long hair, afro-centric, you name it, I've been attracted to it because color makes no difference to me.
In high school, I once had a major crush on someone who was very dark skinned. Very very dark. But this person was beautiful, smart, sexy, and had conversation for your ass. But nothing ever developed from it because they expressed some disdain for their own color. They loved being a black person, just not a "Black" person. I had a real problem with that because there is nothing worse than self-hatred. I could never be with anyone who couldn't accept even themselves.
It's just another way of showing how we as black people feel about ourselves. That we still see something wrong and disgraceful about being black. And if our skin is too dark, that means we're a little closer to be full African-American than those who are lighter. If it's too black, throw it back. Something is wrong with this picture. As a community, don't we have enough to fight for and deal with; don't we have enough racial tension and predjudices that we must fight against, than to have to deal with inequality within our own race, simply because of our skin color?
Until then, the sun is still unkind to those like you and I. And it's not the UV rays that could give us skin cancer that we're worrying about...it's getting any darker than we already are.
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