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A Life Lesson
I wrote this because I was so touched by my son's unconditional love that it just amazed me. It seems no matter what a person does in their past, change can be made for the better. Life can be good.
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Life is hard, this we all know. Thats why I wasn't surprised when my 9 year old son asked me "mom how come we don't have any family around?) I knew what he meant by "no family". You see I live out here in the sticks of Minnesota, while everyone near and dear to me is half way across the United States. My son see's his friends with there families, and wonders why he doesn't have that too.
He caught me off guard,kids do that, and as I looked at him with all the love in my heart I said "come sit with me and let mommy tell you a little story"As we walked over to the couch, his eyes were wide with anticipation, and myself not sure what I was going to say-- started off by saying " I love you son" he of course said ' I love you to mommy"
To make a long story short I told him that I have made some bad choices in the past, but things are differnet now. He looked at me with his big brown eyes and said 'Mommy you never make bad choices' . Now you have to remember he is only 9, and how do you explain to an innocent child who depends on you and needs your love and guidance, that your past is shaddier then you'd like to admitt, You see most of his life my hand has been wrapped around a beer can, and that boy has been through more than his fair share.
As I try and fight back my tears the best that I can, he's just sitting there, looking at me with a big smile.He said 'Mom I'm glad you don't drink anymore' see even though he's just a boy, he knew what I meant when I said mommy has made bad choices.I told him Im glad I don't drink anymore to, life is better now.As he got up he turned and gave me the sweetest smile, and said Im glad that your my mom, your the best mom in the whole world, and he hugged me.
He left to go play,untouched by what had just happened, but I just sat there- in amazement mostly.Children are so precious, and I guess I didnt realize that my children will love me no matter what.Because as I was sitting on my couch in these sticks of Minnesota I now call home with my arms wrapped around my youngest of 5 I realized something,My life has changed, I am sober now, I am in recovery, and I am making good choices.
I hope you take something away from this, I know I sure did. It is never to late to change for the better, I know we all get off the beaten path sometimes, and sometimes things get a little hazy, but love always, always pulls us back.
I have always had the love of my family, but when I was drinking, and making bad choices I didnt see them that much. I am really close to my mom and sister now and they are happy that I have made a change for the better. I will continue on my path in recovery and spread the word to all women that if something hasnt worked, and we feel like all hope is lost-- there is light at the end of the tunnel. As I sit here typing this out I am living proof. So what ever you may be facing today, you get a new start tommorow to change, a change for the better.Each and everyone of us deserve that, and each and everyone of us can have that --- you have to want it!
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