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Relationship Mistakes to Avoid Like the Plague.
Feel like everything is terrific in your current relationship, but worried that one mistake will end it all too soon? Don't fret too much; although relationships can be extremely fragile at times...
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Feel like everything is terrific in your current relationship, but worried that one mistake will end it all too soon? Don't fret too much; although relationships can be extremely fragile at times, following the relationship tips (and avoiding the pitfalls) outlined here will help you strengthen your current relationship, and maybe even turn it into a lifelong one. . .
Case of The Ex
Another golden rule: do not compare your current partner to your former one. Never. Of course there may be some shared similarities between the two, after all most people have a certain type of person they look for in a relationship, but that's the last thing your partner wants to hear. After all, you don't want to hear how you are so much like your partners' ex under the sheets do you?
This Is Not a test (or is it?)
If the person you're seeing thinks you two are an exclusive item, but you're still seeing other people, it's time to go over the ground rules again. Just don't expect this conversation to end well.
A Change is in Order
When you are in a relationship you think has meaning, you probably did a little homework on the other person before getting involved. You might even know them better then they know themselves. So why are you trying to change your partner? The person you fell for is the same person with all the little quirks and occasionally annoying habits; all of which made them so attractive to you in the first place. So don't try to change your partner now. Not only will you possibly argue to the point of breaking up; but even if your partner does agree to change, they may resent you for it down the road (if the relationship lasts that long.)
What Went Wrong?
Are you still thinking about your last relationship? Wondering what could you have done to save it, where it went wrong, what type of person your ex is with now, etc.? If your answer to any of these questions is "yes," then it's time to end your current relationship NOW. You can't expect to get anywhere with your new someone if you're still pining for your old someone.
Jealousy and Envy
Arguments caused by jealousy can have a massively negative impact on any relationship. If you find yourself feeling jealous for whatever reason, say when you catch your partner glancing at that attractive guy/gal walking by, step back and ask yourself why. If it's something small (i.e. a glance,) then mention it if you must, but do so playfully; as in "I noticed you have a thing for redheads." This will encourage a much more gentle conversation, with a hopefully simpler resolution. If on the other hand it's an issue that looks like it could cause a larger problem in your relationship, have a long talk with your partner to help find a solution.
Let it Go
If you are still living in the past, by dwelling on something negative that happened in your last relationship, over analyzing what went wrong in your last relationship, etc. your current relationship will not be able to grow until you are able to leave the past behind. At the same time, if you're always worrying about the future of your relationship, you will not be able to grow together either. As much as possible, live in the present. Your relationship will grow so much more when you both live each day together without worry of the past or future.
People Talk
People talk. And many times what they say is inaccurate, missing parts, or just plain false. Even when it comes to a trusted friends advice, always consider where, why, and how your friends are getting/giving you their advice. though sometimes they mave have a valid point, at the end of the day it is your relationship, not theirs.
Trust
A relationship is only as strong as the bonds of trust that hold it together. If you feel that, especially after some time together, there are things you must hide from your partner, then there are some major trust issues that should be best worked out ASAP before moving your relationship further. If you want your current relationship to evolve into something truly special, then trust in your partner is an absolute must.
Three Words . . .
Maybe you think you're ready, and maybe you think your partner is ready too. But before you say it, be 100% sure you TRUELY mean it. There are few words able to create such a strong emotional impact, both good and bad, as "I Love You." Say "those three words" too early, and you risk turning your hopefully long term relationship into an all too short term relationship. Wait until you're reasonably sure you're both ready to say/hear it and you'll stand a much better chance of making this relationship last a lifetime. Remember, sometimes feelings fade after just a few months; if that's happens you'll be glad you didn't say "it" too soon, making it easier for you to move on. If after three to six months (or more) together you feel that burning desire to say those magical words though, put it out there. By that time your partner probably should have said it to you first anyway, so if you get an un-enthusiastic response when YOU say "it," it's time for a new relationship.
While there are many other helpful tips, and pitfalls to avoid, to growing a healthy and strong relationship, these are the big ones. Keep them in mind always and you will have a strong relationship which may just last forever.
- Renee enjoys many of life pleasures, and finds writing about them quite pleasurable ;)
Her eclectic fancies range from her favorite new toys, the slim new PlayStation 3 and Maglite LED flashlights, to, believe it or not, the European Persil laundry detergent.
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