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Indian Singles Are Finding Traditional & Modern Matches Online!
The Internet has introduced a rise in online relationships in India and dating websites are becoming hugely popular.
The Internet has replaced the NAYAN or the traditional matchmaker or communicator in Indian arranged marriages. It is a vehicle of social change in a country where pre-marital relationships are frowned upon.
The Big Fat Indian Weddings...
My parents are saving money for my marriage, since the time I took birth. At times, I feel that I have birth for this grand event to happen in my life.
Besides saving money for property, saving money for a daughter's marriage is a priority for Indian parents. Especially in the middle class society, working parents save every single penny that they earn for the wedding day. The entire savings of their life are spent on one single day. The society is the stimulating factor for parents to splurge every single penny that they have. Every thing should be better than a relative's, friend's etc's daughter's wedding, is a general mindset of people. But more than this part of the society, it is the privileged class which makes wedding the biggest event in one's life.
Money is blown out of proportion as parents/daughters/brothers/sisters/relatives want every thing to be perfect and grand. These weddings are the most talked about events among the relatives, friends and friend's friends. It is not only a matter of marriage, it is also a matter of prestige.
"Koi kami nahi rehni chahiye" is the mantra. The food served, the clothes worn, the jewellery, the decor, everything should be larger than life.
And now it's fashionable to make the Wedding day an event of the lifetime. The wedding lasts for a week or at times a fortnight or a month. It is an opportunity for the rich and famous to flaunt their wealth.
Let us have a look at the BIGGEST, the FATTEST, Indian weddings: From UP, Bihar to UK, US, rich Indians with their astronomical wealth have given a new meaning to their son's/daughter's Wedding Day.
Our own Laloo Prasad Yadav's daughter, Misa's wedding with a computer engineer is unforgettable. The guest list included various political leaders and film stars who became a part of this extravagant wedding. She was a like princess enthroned to become a queen.
If Misa's wedding was like a fairy tale than the hotelier Vikram Chatwal's wedding with Priya Sachdev on 18th Feb 2006 was one of the most trendiest weddings of all times. Besides all the glitz and glamour, the guest list included the most prominent names from Iran to USA. Clintons, steel tycoon Lakshmi Mittal and his son Aditya, supermodel Naomi Campbell, Prince of Iran, Prince Nicolas of Greece, US Congressman Joe Crowley and UK industrialist SP Hinduja are a few big wigs, who graced this mega event.
And how can we forget Arun Nair's wedding with Liz Hurley. This Firangi - Desia couple got married on March 2007. After an English wedding in Britain, there had been celebrations for over 5 days in traditional Indian customs in Udaipur, Rajasthan. The families of the couple stayed at the Devi Garh. This one of a kind couple has always been the most talked about pair both in India and Britain.
Also, in the history of Indian Traditional marriages, the wedding of the daughter of London-based steel tycoon Laxmi Niwas Mittal was a remarkable event. Vanisha, the daughter of Laxmi Niwas Mittal has tied nuptial knot with Amit Bhatia, an investment banker based in London. It is undeniable that the wedding was larger than life. It was reported that the total cost of the wedding was around £30m / $55million that is more than rupees two hundred crores in Indian money. The wedding was in news for weeks in all the leading dallies of the country and abroad. The guest list included names like from Indian and British society. Movie stars like Shah Rukh Khan, Hrithik Roshan, Preity Zinta and Aishwarya Rai was present to name a few. Famous lyricist and writer Javed Akhtar, is said, to have written a one-hour play to be staged during the run-up to the vivaah.
Not very long ago, India also saw the wedding ceremony of Rohan Gavaskar with Swati Mankar, his childhood sweetheart. The wedding ceremony was the talk of the town as it was attended by the who's who of Indian film industry, politics, cricket and fashion industry. People like Shabana Azmi, Bal Thakeray, Sachin Tendulkar, Shobha De, Dimple Kapadia, Dev Anand, Dilip Kumar, Zaheer Khan, Ajit Agrkar and Yuvraj Singh graced the occasion.
It is not only Laloos, Mittals or Bachchans that get their daughters or sons get married in an extravagant manner. Every Indian parents dream is to see their daughter married in the most lavish manner with the perfect and the most suitable life partner.
What's the big deal about an inter-caste marriage?
Hundreds of years ago, inter-caste marriages were a big deal - to some extent, they are till date. For some people, inter-caste marriages are still a taboo. They fail to discern that marriages are beyond such superficial differences.
That is why, inter caste marriage in India are still confronted with unique challenges. For some people it becomes difficult to convince their parents and in-laws. There are many couples, find it difficult to adapt themselves to a new environment, culture and rituals. In some societies, inter caste marriages are considered as a religious offence where couples face death threats from their own family members. Every now and then, we come across news talking about incidents related to murder due to inter-caste marriages. Such atrocities raise many questions like: Why is caste imposed on couples who want to get married peacefully? In simple words, what is the big deal?
Despite the various laws imposed by the government against such fanatic practices, not many parents/family members/relatives are able to understand it.
Movies like Ek duje ke liye reflect the attitude of parents and societies towards inter-caste marriages in India, where a charming and intelligent south Indian boy wants to get married a typical north Indian beautiful girl. The movie highlights how lovers are separated atrociously because of their religion differences. It begins with a normal boy-meets-girl kind of story and gradually unfolds into a traumatic love story. The lovers have to sacrifice their lives to show the eternity of their love. Though the movie is a work of fiction, there are many young couples who face such atrocities in real. They become a victim of circumstances and there peaceful love life becomes anarchic.
There are many threats faced by individuals who are looking forward to get married to their beloveds. Though our government has tried to come up with many approaches to curb these differences like offering couples payment for marrying into a lower caste, nothing has actually eroded the superficial beliefs of caste differences from the minds of people. To actually curb the casteism in marriages, there should be more societies and NGO's to support and encourage inter-caste marriages.
Also, the right education and awareness attribute in bringing a change in the hypocrite mindset of the people and inter-caste marriages are possible only with a change in mindsets. It is important to bring into the minds of people that a successful relationship mainly depends on the ability to maintain an independent thought and be appreciated for it and vice versa. So it is immaterial to say that caste defines the fate of a relationship.
How to live happily ever after in inter-caste marriages?
At times, the parents are not so fanatic and they gracefully accept their daughter in laws and son in laws. But there are some couples who find it difficult to adjust to the new environment. Just consider a few things and you can live happily ever after:-
Regularly visit your would-bes home:
You can save yourself from a culture shock by familiarizing yourself with your husband's family. Regularly visit your in-laws to know their religious and traditional customs. During your visits, take initiatives by asking questions on how they celebrate different festivals or observe fasts etc. You will soon realize that there are similar reasons and beliefs at the interior of varying customs. It is just the exterior difference. Quite often, different castes worship different deities, but if you care to understand the philosophy behind the worship, then you will feel more comfortable.
Just be happy and make them happy:
Humor is the best medicine to solve many big problems in life; it can help you solve this one as well. Just spread happiness around and cultivate humor in your life. It should be the most important homework you do before getting married into a family or caste which differs drastically from your own. This way, you will feel a sense of belonging when you find that human traits are the same, despite the difference in pickles, papads or the idol of the deity worshipped.
- India expert Sukhpreet Kaur Sawhney writes on behalf of http://www.jeevansathi.com, which is Indias fastest growing matrimonial website, provides online matrimonial classified services. Jeevansathi.com enables users to create a matrimony profile on the website and allow prospective grooms and brides to contact each other. Users can search for profiles through advanced search options on the website.
See more articles by top relationship experts at WUVING.com
WUVING.com is loaded with tips and articles from the top experts in relationships. Among them, are Michael Webb of OPRAH SHOW fame, whose articles have appeared in over 50 magazines such as Redbook and Woman's World. And Kara Oh, best selling author of MARRIAGE MADE EASY who has appeared on CBS News and FOX News and in magazines like Cosmopolitan and Woman's World.
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