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Need marriage advice or relationship counseling – Are you willing to listen?
Marriage advice or relationship counseling is only good if you are willing and are able to listen. Earlier in my life I met a girl and entered a relationship that started out as just friendship. We did all sort of thing together. Football games, dinner, church, walks in the park - you name it and we were doing it. Pretty soon we began to be attracted to one another, began holding hands, kissing, and before you know we’d had sex.
The pastor of our church was very adamant that she wasn’t ready for a new relationship because she was recently divorced. We always tried to stay open to his advice. But soon we were having sex more and more often. Of course a bond was created and we thought we were in love and decide we should get married.
We began counseling with the pastor once a week. As time went on though and the marriage date got closer I began to notice things in my wife to be. She had begun to lose her temper a lot. She used a lot of foul language. The night before the wedding she absolutely blew up at a store clerk at a department store.
Some of the things I noticed, like the anger for instance, were things that as I look back should have sent up red flags. There were many other signs that the relationship had taken a wrong turn. That wrong turn was the premarital sex. Since then I have learned that sex creates a bond between two people. That power of sex in the relationship served only to entrap me through my physical need. There was almost an addiction. Against all the advice of my pastor and counseling from the deacons of the church I went ahead with this relationship. Ending the relationship for me was not an option. There were indicators that plainly said this relationship was not going to work.
It last 10 years on paper, only 6 in reality. The relationship problems that I thought were so small in the beginning turned in to mountains when sex began to fade as the center of the relationship. Premarital sex will rob you of your ability to make sound relationship decisions. It will rob you of your ability to hear sound advice from counselors. It can rob you of a relationship that could have been a lifetime of friendship.
So here is my advice. If at all possible avoid having a premarital sexual relationship. If at all possible – and you’ve given in to sex already - listen to good counsel and advice from people who love you. They aren’t trying to hurt you usually. It is just that people outside the relationship can sometimes see things more clearly.
If you are already in a relationship or marriage and are having relationship problems seek counsel. Be willing to listen and do the things suggested to you.
Good luck to you all.
~Roy Brown
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