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Susan called. She's having anxiety/panic attacks. "I've got to see you soon. I can't stand this. I just can't continue my work when I freeze up in panic. Help!"
Susan is a care provider at the Oregon Mental Institution. Every day she's faced with the most dangerous mentally ill people in the state. She follows the rules and she's been safe from harm for the 12+ years she's been working there. Yet, now and then, she freezes up in absolute terror for her life and she doesn't know why.
That's the basic background of what I knew about her and her troubles as she spoke them to me on the phone before I met her in our first session. I like to conduct short, to the point phone interviews prior to the first session so I can get a head start on our work together.
I also can deduce to some degree a favored mode of operation - visual, auditory, or kinesthetic. I do this with a simple test of language - and you can, too. This is, of course, a general rule rather than 100% conclusive. Just listen to what they say over the phone as they are setting up an appointment -
What words do they use most often? Visual words like "see" "clear" and "I" (eye)? Auditory words like "hear" (here) "listen" and "tell, talk, write"? Kinesthetic words like "touch" "feel" and texture words like "soft/hard" "sensitive" and "insensitive"?
To which words do they most respond positively - building rapport? Visual, auditory, or kinesthetic?
Note in your mind as you talk with them which words seem to build rapport with them and which seem to distance them. This will give you a hint as to which inner reference they prefer. For the purposes of this article, you want to notice auditory representational system.
When Susan arrived for her first session, I noticed that she described her trouble in auditory languaging - "You know, I can usually hear trouble coming and can avoid it."
"When you hear trouble coming, what do you do?" I asked, using her language back to her.
"Well, I usually follow procedures to the letter. But sometimes I hear a tiny voice inside my head that tells me to get the hell out of there - and I feel myself freezing up - I panic."
"And when this tiny voice inside you speaks, what does it say?" I ask, again using her words.
She went on to tell me about how she felt closed in and panicky at times and how she had felt that way many times in her life... etc. "What I hear is that there is no place to get away and I feel like I'm going to die..." "Repeat that... 'There's no place to get away.' again... again... keep repeating it..." continue through duplication process... "Now repeat, 'I'm going to die...' again... again... keep repeating it..." continue through duplication process... "What else?"
Notice how often she would use auditory words in her regular speech. I picked up on this right away. I wanted to quickly build rapport - trust. To do that, I used her modality to communicate with her - I used auditory words more often, like "hear", "speak", "listen", and "say".
I quickly established a rapport with her and let her talk for a bit about her trouble - describing it to me in detail. I began to have her duplicate the auditory statements that have any charge - "no place to go" (that's what the voice said - well, let's really amplify it now in session). I did Rapid Eye Technology (RET) while she's talking - duplicating that phrase. Rapid Eye Technology is a technique in which the client blinks and moves their eyes in specific patterns to relieve stress. In this case, I used it to desensitize her emotions as we went along.
The duplication process can get pretty intense, so now and then it may serve to slow it down a little with some desensitization and state breaking - I can always go back to it and clear out any remaining energy - I don't have to do it all at once. In Susan's case, we did duplication with wand work for three statements - each statement was elicited by repeating back to her her own words in a question like I had done before.
In a little more than half an hour, she was reporting feeling much more secure and confident. She returned in her mind to a recent incident in which she felt the panic. She felt completely confident. This was the test in the office. Later, she would return to work and report to me how she was doing. I contacted her 6 weeks later and she reported feeling no panic. This is the real test - real life.
We completed our session with Release and Gather, an RET process specific for tying up loose ends. I taught her how to care for herself as needed. An essential part of my Anxiety Neutralization Process is education so the client can care for themselves quickly and effectively.
For clients who like to talk - because that is their native favored mode rather than out of nervousness - duplication in the course of their talking can be very beneficial. Simply have them duplicate all emotionally or physically charged statements in the course of your conversation - "Repeat what you just said... again... again... keep repeating it..." (repeat 10-12 times) "How do you feel now about this?" (important - "Check your body for physical sensations...") "Gather up all the energy in that statement and breathe it out" (do the release breath three times).
The more conversationally coherent you make this process, the more rapport you will build with your client and the happier s/he will be with the session.
Try it.
You can learn more about Rapid Eye Technology (RET) from the Rapid Eye Institute at www.rapideyetechnology.com.
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