|
Title: The Importance of Having a Few Good Friends
Author: Anthony Kane, MD
Website: http://addadhdadvances.com
Ezine format: 65 characters per line
Autoresponder:goodfriends@addadhdadvances.com
Webpage format: HTML coded
Autoresponder:goodfriendshtml@addadhdadvances.com
Word count: 926 words
Please reprint this article. You have permission
to reprint this article in your newsletter or on
your website provided the resource box remains
intact. If you use this article please notify me at
akane@addadhdadvances.com
================================================================
The Importance of Having a Few Good Friends
by Anthony Kane, MD
Introduction
Developing healthy social relationships is critical in the
development of a child. Children who learn to relate well to
others are more likely to become happy well adjusted adults.
Difficulty in making and keeping friends leads to feelings of
low self-esteem and these feelings usually continue into
adulthood.
In addition, childhood friendships provide a critical buffer
against stress and help to protect against psychological and
psychiatric problems. Children who lack these positive
interactions frequently develop a number of emotional problems.
Children with poor social skills do poorly in school. They are
at risk for delinquency, academic failure, and school drop out.
ADHD children often lack the social skills that are essential
to success in life. These children can be socially inept. Their
lack of interpersonal skills may cause them a multitude of
difficulties. More than half of these children have difficulty
making and maintaining friendships. Even though the
inattentiveness, impulsiveness, and restlessness frequently
persist into adult life, these problems are of less importance
as the ADD ADHD child gets older. The main difficulty ADHD
people encounter as they reach maturity is their inability to
interact appropriately with others.
As ADHD children grow older, their social problems seem to get
worse. Their inappropriate behavior leads to further social
rejection and exacerbates their inability to relate to others
appropriately. As these children mature into adults, they are
more likely to have difficulty finding and maintaining
successful careers. This is not surprising since social aptitude
can make or break careers and relationships in the adult world.
Having a Special Friendship
In the past, most of the ADHD research and treatment programs
involving social interactions focused on how to improve the
child’s general standing among his peers. The results were less
than satisfactory. The reason is that once the group views a
child as an outcast, this label is hard to overcome. Even if the
child changes the behaviors that originally caused this label, a
reputation as a social outcast stays with him.
Fortunately, a study published in the April 2003 issue of the
Journal of Attention Disorders,,took a new look at ADHD and peer
relationships. The study focuses on the affects of helping ADHD
children develop a single good friend. The researchers studied
209 5-12 year old children who participated in an intensive
8-week summer ADD ADHD child behavior treatment program.
The program was set up along the lines of a summer day camp. In
addition to the usual components of such a program, like social
skills training and behavioral training, the researchers added a
“buddy system” to the program. The “buddy system” was implemented
to promote the development of friendship skills. The program
involved pairing each child with an age and gender matched
"buddy". Buddies were also paired based on similarities in
behavioral, athletic, and academic competencies and on whether
children lived close enough together that play dates could occur
outside of camp.
The parents were encouraged to have the child meet with his buddy
outside of the time of the program. The goal was to have the
children develop and maintain a single good friendship during the
length of the program.
Results of the Buddy Program
Some of the results were as expected. Children who were more
aggressive did not achieve as close a relationship with their
buddy as the other children.
However, researchers uncovered two other points that are important
to us. According to the evaluation by the staff, those children
whose parents supported the buddy program by arranging play times
outside of the camp setting, tended to form better relationships.
More importantly, the children also felt themselves to more
successful in making and sustaining the friendship.
Another important finding is that the type of buddy a child had
affected his own academic success during the program. The more
antisocial behavior a child's buddy displayed, the less likely
teachers were to see academic or behavioral improvement in the
child. Conversely, when a child's buddy was less antisocial,
children were more likely to be regarded by teachers as making
academic and behavioral gains.
What Does This Mean to Us?
How can you apply the results of this study? First, even if your
ADHD child is suffering because his peers do not like him, you
can significantly improve his situation by helping him find one
or a few close friends.
However, there is a point of caution. What type of child becomes
your child’s close friend may have a significant impact on his
academic standing and social behavior. The study showed that a
well-behaved child will influence your child to behave better.
Okay so you knew that already. But, we’re scientists. Just
because something is blatantly obvious to anyone else doesn’t
mean that it’s obvious to us. So for us this is a major finding.
This just emphasizes how important it is for parents to monitor
with whom their children play. You must work hard to keep your
child from associating with antisocial peers. This can be
critically important in preventing your child from developing
antisocial behavior.
A final noteworthy point is that the success of a child making
a close relationship with his buddy was largely related to how
supportive the parents were. That means that you as a parent can
influence your child and help him to develop a special close
friend. You have the ability to direct your child properly so
as to help him or her avoid one of the most devastating long
term effects of having ADHD. It is up to you to help your child.
Anthony Kane, MD
ADD ADHD Advances
http://addadhdadvances.com
|
|
