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Title: How to Create an Emotional Bond with Your Child
Author: Anthony Kane, MD
Website: http://addadhdadvances.com
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How to Create an Emotional Bond with Your Child
by Anthony Kane, MD
One of the most powerful tools that parents have for raising
their children is the natural emotional bond that exists between
them and their child. Children who feel close to their parents
will have a strong desire to obey them. No child with this type
of connection to his parents will want to risk hurting that
connection by disobeying them. When such a relationship exists,
the mere look of dissatisfaction on the face of a parent will
usually be enough to curb inappropriate behavior. This bond is
so strong and so potent that it lasts even through adolescence
when most of the disciplinary tools at our disposal are
ineffective. Often, it is the only tool we have in guiding our
teenage children. Parents who do not have such a connection with
their children have lost a vital resource necessary for
successful parenting.
In addition, this bond is essential for the child's emotional
stability. A recent psychology experiment studied people in their
forties, whose parent were emotionally distant from them.
These people were often depressed and lacked a sense of emotional
well being. They had more difficulty in adjusting to the work
environment and new social situations.
How do you develop this type of loving bond with your child? It
begins in your child's infancy and is built by giving your child
the love and affection that he needs.
Many well-meaning mothers are completely unaware that their own
children are suffering from the lack of physical touch. There
are many reasons for this. Most people associate deprived
children as those who are neglected, abused, or chronically ill.
However, the truth is that many of our children who come from
good homes are not getting the physical warmth and love that
they need. In our two-income society, unaffectionate caretakers,
who provide for the child’s physical needs with as little warmth
and contact as possible, often raise children. Also, many of
us did not receive enough physical love and warmth as children.
As a result, it is not natural to us to cuddle, coo, kiss, and
love our children affectionately. In addition, some children
naturally need more physical warmth. These touch-deprived
children fill our schools. They are the ones who often look
sad and depressed, suffering from not getting their physical
needs for contact.
The United States is one of the richest countries in the history
of the world. Yet, our children in general are touch starved.
We are busy with our lives and our careers. We often raise our
children in broken homes. We as parents are suffering under
the burden of so much physical and emotional stress, that we
are often just glad to make it through the day without hitting
or screaming at our children. Who has time to give them
affection? Yet, this is what our children crave most from us.
We fill our houses with toys and things for our children, but
it is us that they really need.
There is much talk about the generation gap. We all know that
adolescents naturally rebel. Sometimes we look at our little
children and wonder what is going to be in ten years when this
cute little four-year-old turns fourteen. Will he be one of the
children who abuses drugs? Is he going to steal? Is he going
to do worse? What is going to be?
You need to take the time now, and give your child the physical
warmth and love that your child needs. If you build strong
bonds of love with your child now, while he is still young, then
all these problems that you read about, will be just that; things
that you read about. You will not experience these problems in
your own home, because you have developed a strong relationship
with you child.
Anthony Kane, MD
ADD ADHD Advances
http://addadhdadvances.com
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Anthony Kane, MD is a physician, an international lecturer, and
director of special education. He is the author of a book,
numerous articles, and a number of online programs dealing with
ADHD treatment (http://addadhdadvances.com/childyoulove.html),
parenting issues (http://addadhdadvances.com/betterbehavior.html),
ODD, and education.
You may visit his website at http://addadhdadvances.com.
To sign up for the free ADD ADHD Advances online journal send
an email to: subscribe@addadhdadvances.com?subject=subscribeart
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